It probably started in university. With a rickety oven about 30 degrees off the stated temperature, and being too cheap to buy a mixer or weighing scale for my dorm, my projects became simpler; less ambitious. Where I’d once have launched myself into planning a triple layer cappuccino fudge cake, my friends now got one-bowl affairs that rarely seemed to justify the effort of making them.
Then there were the effects of getting older, the first of which was a rapidly decreasing tolerance for sugar. One of the surest signs of adulthood, beyond starting to pay taxes or finally understanding what deductibles are, was that the gummy bears and Kit Kats my friends and I once wolfed down now made us slightly sick.
Then there was how, after 21, no one—yours truly included—really wanted to celebrate birthdays any more. Half the time, they were to be actively avoided. Every year between 21 and 30 was simultaneously a reminder of how much growing up we still had to do, and how little time we had left to do it.
And at the other end of the scale was a more recent development: how birthdays became opportunities for your friends to embarrass you in public.
We’ve all been subjected to this, or organised this or witnessed it: rope in some hapless waiter and make the restaurant suffer through an excruciating rendition of Happy Birthday, while the victim cowers in their seat and pretends to smile. In the face of such pressures, it’s tempting to hear ‘birthday’ and think: no.
And, well, people are busy. Life happens. There are better things to do. Who even has time for birthdays any more?
With these, birthday cake began its slow, quiet fade into the ether.
I bought a packaged cake for one friend, then another, and another. When it became clear that people were fighting to avoid responsibility for the leftovers, rather than over the cake itself, I stopped buying any at all.
Nowadays, birthdays are more likely to be marked with a ‘Happy birthday, have a good one! *cake emoji* *star emoji* *champagne emoji*’ WhatsApp message. As for birthday cake, I haven’t made one in four years.
