The 9 sucks of Singapore – Five Stars And a Moon


Ok let’s back it up a little. Firstly, a disclaimer – there is no point in my article. I am just sharing my opinion because opinion sharing seems to be the rage these days.

And secondly, there really isn’t a secondly.

I’ve been reading (and watching) articles and videos written and produced by young Singaporeans telling everyone how much they can’t wait to migrate because they are not proud to be Singaporean. Mainly due to what I call, the 9 sucks of Singapore:

  1. The government sucks
  2. Singaporeans suck (unfriendly, don’t think out of the box etc.)
  3. Foreigners suck (they are taking our jobs, they are snotty etc.)
  4. Transportation system sucks
  5. Jobs suck
  6. Wages suck
  7. Housing sucks
  8. COE sucks
  9. The weather sucks?

I agree that certain things need improving but really, everywhere on the planet has some form of suckiness. Some just suck harder than others.

So here’s the 9 Sucks of Singapore that everyone is bitching about:

The government sucks

Anywhere you go, you will find haters no matter how efficient a government is. Similarly, you will find supporters of bad governments too (no naming names!). Governments are run by humans. Humans are not perfect. So we chose a bunch of people who dare to take a stand and stick to it.

We don’t elect pussy willows that sway in the wind of popular opinion.


Singaporeans suck (they are soooo unfriendly wehhhh wehhhh wehhhhh)

I was born and bred a Singaporean. I say hello to the cab drivers when I get on a cab, I thank waiters and cashiers when they return me my change and I ask young parents if they need help when they struggle with prams outside Wisma (true story). It doesn’t bug me when people are not friendly back because I don’t do it for them to be nice to me.

I do this because I want to and for some weird reason, it makes me happy.

Create your own friendliness. How can you accuse Singaporeans of not being nice when you’re not pleasant to others as well?


Foreigners suck

Well you’re going to have a hard time when you migrate to Australia/New Zealand/wherever then because trust me, there are A LOT of foreigners there. And what makes you think they will be less snotty to you when you’re there? In their homeland? Being the foreign talent?

Also I often encounter this ang moh sales girl at one of those beauty booths at NEX and I don’t know if it’s the colonial subservience ingrained in my Singaporean DNA or something but it makes me TERRIBLY uncomfortable when she tries to sell me something because GOD FORBID MY EX-COLONIAL MASTER IS TRYING TO SELL ME SOMETHING. So yea, foreigners definitely suck here and the only way to escape them is to run away to Australia where there are nooooo foreigners (I’m trying to be sarcastic).


The transportation system sucks

Oh no 2 ways about that, our transport system needs improving. But did you know in Perth, buses only come every half an hour, and in Melbourne, it is not uncommon for train services to be delayed or non-operational because workers go on strike? If you have an exam that day, good luck! And I’m sure you’ve all seen those Japanese workers squashed against their train doors. What I’m trying to say is, yes our system needs improving but other systems have their problems too and the people make do with what they have and move on instead of letting a mrt breakdown or 20c fare hike affect their entire existence.

(Editor: Try London, where good service on all Tube lines make the news)


Jobs suck

Yes the jobs here suck some major balls so I should go to Australasia where lawyers currently can’t find jobs and unemployment is at around 5.8% but I will definitely find a job there because my logic is that the grass is always greener on the other side. Yeahhhhh let me know how that pans out for you.


Wages suck

Go to New Zealand where you can clean hobbit holes for a minimum wage forever. And remember, with great  salary comes great taxes. Let’s face it – if you have no skills of value, your wages will suck anywhere in the world you go.


Housing sucks

Yea it’s so much easier and cheaper to buy a house elsewhere like in Australia and that’s why so many young Australians are renting houses right now.


COE sucks

Yea what is this COE shit it totally sucks they stupid government should just let us buy as many cars as we want like in China, Thailand, Indonesia and the Philippines and oh I don’t ever have to worry about traffic jams because the carbon monoxide smells sweeter on the other side!


The weather sucks

That. THAT. I absolutely agree. I think we should leave an angry expletive-laden comment on the Universe’s Facebook page or craft a strongly worded email to [email protected]


So what I’m trying to say is, (oh I do have a point!), every country has its pros and cons.


London is amazing and so full of excitement, but may the gods of spending have mercy on your wallet.

Wellington is wonderful but there are too many sheep and earthquakes.

Tokyo is incredible but you might grow an extra eye or 2

Hong Kong is fabulous, you’ll just have to deal with living in 500PSI pollution forever.

…and Singapore, well Singapore is just great, but a little congested and sweaty.


Every one of these cities is going to need money to live in, some a little more than others, but they all need money.

If you really hate it here in Singapore, nothing will stop you from moving abroad. But stop trying to justify your decision by making sweeping statements about Singaporeans and slamming our country. Make your decisions, move on with life but don’t influence my fellow Singaporeans with your personal hatred for the country or people.

P/s. I can say these things because, my best friend studied in Melbourne and decided to come back to Singapore to work. After working for a couple of years, he decided hey, the grass is always greener on the other side right? (wrong) So he decided to look for a job with his wife in Melbourne. They proceeded to apply for their PR, and GOT IT. They shipped everything they had there and after a month and a half, came back to Singapore. Why? He found a job, but cost of rent and everyday expenses were far too high. She couldn’t find a job DESPITE BEING AN ACCOUNTANT. Also, I studied in Australia for a couple of years and I liked Singapore better.

The grass is always greener on the other side until it slaps you in the face. Then, it’s red, like the slap mark on your face.

(Editor: The internet says the grass is greener on the other side because it is fertilized with bullshit)







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